The Blog of activechristian

by: Stacy L. Harp

Yesterday I shared with you one experience that I had being sexually harassed in a Christian setting. If you missed that entry, click here.

Today I wanted to share with you another experience that I had with a Christian man who was married and who came on to me sexually, in his home, while his wife was gone.

The year was 1990 and I had just lost my job at a car dealership I had worked at for three years. The owner of the car dealership sold the business and the new owner fired most of the current staff and I was in that big crowd.

As a result of the lay off, I knew that I needed to move out of my apartment and get a new living space because I was hired at a new job where my pay was cut over two dollars an hour. So I did the logical thing - I called my pastor and I asked him if he could recommend a Christian family I could live with while I got back on my feet. I would work and pay rent or be a live in housekeeper, whatever was needed. Within a few hours the pastor told me about this couple who needed a live in housekeeper that went to his church. So trusting the recommendation of my pastor, I contacted this couple and moved in post haste.

At first everything went fine. I was living in one of the spare bedrooms and doing all the housework and their laundry. In fact, i’ll never forget this, the wife showed me the laundry they wanted me to do and it was literally HALF a GARAGE full of clothes that she needed done. Even thinking about this now, I’m amazed I agreed to do that.

Anyway, this couple was also HUGE into recycling - from papers, to cans, to cardboard to plastic - you name it, they recycled it. They were also major Star Trek fans, with literally hundreds and hundreds of VCR tapes full of every Star Trek episode ever made. To me, that was just plain weird.

Eventually, I got settled in to my new room and the chores I had to do in order to stay there and then it happened, the husband started to come on to me. At first it was flirting with me, but eventually it led to an incident where he pinned me against a wall and tried to kiss me, while pawing me. The guy was a slime and at least a foot taller than me. I remember pushing him off and yelling at him and running away from him as far as I could.

Then I made a decision that changed my life drastically. I decided to tell his wife what he had been doing, and since I was pretty naive back then, what happened next really surprised me.

She threw me out of her house! THAT NIGHT! And then she confronted her husband and he admitted it. To this day, that still amazes me.

Fortunately, I had been serving the Lord in a homeless shelter and so that’s where I ended up going that night. I called up my buddies there and the other people who lived there, came over to the house and moved what few possessions I had and I never went back. And I would be surprised if this couple is still married today, but I have no way of knowing.

The bottom line is that this Christian man, who I found out later gave a lot of money to the church, came on to me in a sexually inappropriate manner and was never punished for his behavior. See, I know he gave a lot of money to the church because when I told the pastor what had happened, the pastor told me that and so…well…as you can see, the sexual immoral behavior of this man wasn’t bad enough for the church to warrant losing such a large donor.

So, let’s recap. On the advice of my pastor, I move into this upstanding Christian home with a godly couple who gave a lot to the church. This couple was at least 15 years older than I was at the time also - just to give you a differential. Then the husband comes on to me, fortunately, I am able to get away - I tell his wife - she throws me out - even though he admitted it. The church did nothing.

Is it any wonder some people don’t feel safe in church? I don’t think so.

In my next entry I will talk about the sexual addiction of a pastor I knew and how it ruined his career as a pastor.